I'm turning in a couple of chapters of my book in class this week, so if anyone would like to help me by reading them (it's less than 20 pages), let me know ASAP! I need the feedback by Wednesday the 2nd. Thanks!
I worked for like 4 hours on bookmaking today. It was fun, but also frustrating because I couldn't get more done because I keep finding little things that I need. But mostly it was fun. :) Sometimes hobbies like this are hard because the little stuff isn't fun, but you have to do it to practice so you're good enough for the big stuff.
But even the little stuff is pretty fun with this, and it's good practice for me with my stupid perfectionist attitude too.
I found the perfect present for my brother for Christmas today, but I can't tell you what it is because you'll snitch. but I'm way excited about it.
I made fancy caramel apples with my visiting teachers this week. MAN they are tasty! I was afraid that spending too much money on ingredients wouldn't make a difference but it sure did! Now I need to find someone to save me from them and their high glycemic index. :P
Boy are you guys lucky I'm having writer's block for my writing class! Without it I would be typing away on my story instead of typing away in here. Monday I enroll for next semester and if all goes well I'll have the same professor next semester. He's very good.
If any of you want to read the chapters I'm working on for my writing class just let me know and I'll shoot them to you, I need all the help I can get.
I got my supplies for my book arts class today and I'm excited. So far for class we've explored a little bookmaking, and looked at some ancient books from the BSU special collections, and explored papermaking from a great papermaker out in Mountain Home. Everything has been interesting and informative, but I have to say that this would be even MORE fun if I wasn't being graded on it -- but I wouldn't be very motivated if I wasn't being graded on it, either. Even though it's cool stuff, it's hard for me to find motivation without the 'threat' of bad grades.
My writing class is still awesome. I'm excited about taking the same class from the same professor again next semester.
But all this boils down to motivation. I'm not working as hard and consistently as I need to on things. By 'things' I mean EVERYTHING -- housework, homework, personal enrichment, everything. I've talked to my counselor about this, particularly when it has to do with my perfectionism, and what I need to basically do is have a simple to-do list that I complete every day. It's that simple. It's not about being perfect, though much of me wants to be perfect and scares me away from trying anything at all. I can do little things. It's work, but I can do them. So I downloaded the Franklin Covey app on my phone. It's only a so-so app so far, but it helps me prioritize my to-dos. Now I just need to DO things. Slowly but surely, I will win this race!
I'm finding that it's a pain. Of course, I knew it was coming. And I knew it would be a pain. But knowing the pain is coming and actually experiencing the pain are two separate things. There's a number of things I'm having to acknowledge now and balancing between the two extremes are tricky.
First, there's the things I can control: diet and exercise. Dude, if I totally had these down I wouldn't be diabetic right now. Diet is hard because I'm having trouble finding things that are cheap and easily accessible (and, quite frankly, that aren't gag-worthy) and that don't make my blood sugar skyrocket. I hate going to the grocery store, and I'm not a very energetic or creative cook. The only things that so far don't make my blood sugar jump are plain chicken or salad with some sort of protein or protein bars (which I'm getting sick of). No more pasta, bread, cereal, or other quick & simple foods. It's driving me insane.
Exercise is a joke. I mean, I know it works. It just works so little and so slowly that it's not enough to overcome the depression and just DO it.
The only thing that seems to motivate me at the moment is testing my blood sugar. Unlike diet or exercise, testing gives me pretty quick positive feedback when I've done something right.
The other side of the equation are things that I cannot control: my broken metabolism, my aging body, and to a limited extent, my weight.
I can't hate myself completely for my condition because of these few things that are out of my control, but I also can't push the responsibility away from myself like it was completely out of my hands. I have to change what I can and let go what I can't. Sigh.
And while I'm whining...if I see that retarded pastor on the news saying that Mormonism is a 'cult' one more time I'm going to get mad. 'Oh it's not a sociological cult, it's a theological one' he says. Well crud, sir, if I knew that all it took to put a pejorative title on something I didn't like was to make up one of my own definitions for it and use that, I would do it more often. Let's use the term 'bucket of stupid'. I'm gonna use the term 'bucket of stupid' for people who preach a religion that 'comes from God' without believing in revelation or authority, and then call other religions 'cults'. Now, you can be a good, moral person and still be a 'bucket of stupid,' that's just fine. In fact, if you take 'bucket of stupid' in a negative way at all, that's your own fault, because according to MY definition it has nothing to do with the traditional pejorative 'stupid'.
Now, do you see a little hypocrisy and guile there? Good. Because that's EXACTLY what that pastor was doing.
Frankly, Mormonism is not a cult. Well, technically if you follow dictionary.com's definition, ALL religions are cults, but if you are using it as a pejorative, it just doesn't apply, not even by that idiot pastor's definition of cult (except for the fine print, which was 'whatever we say is a cult is a cult'). We are Christians. We believe that Jesus Christ is the literal Son of God who died for us to save us from our sins. We believe that Jesus Christ founded our church, through Joseph Smith, by revelation and authority. It irritates me when people say I am not Christian the same as it would irritate you if I said your wife's a whore. Word hurt, especially when they are mean, spiteful, and not true. I believe in Christ. I believe in the Bible (just not that pastor's uninspired and cherry-picking reading of it). I believe that Christ hasn't abandoned us, that revelation, prophets, miracles, etc., exist not just in ancient Jerusalem but in other places and times because God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. If you have more questions about my faith, visit www.mormon.org. Or just ask me.
Sorry so long no post. I been bizzy. School this semester has been an interesting mix -- an absolutely wonderful, inspiring writing class that makes me want to rewrite my whole book to perfection, and a frustrating, expensive, but soon-to-be obsessive book arts class. I'm not up to a level of functionality to adequately tackle these things the way I want to. But feeling motivated is nice!
But on the title subject -- my family has gone together to buy me a Kindle Fire for my birthday and I am way excited! It doesn't come out for another month and a half, but I think it'll be awesome. I haven't been taking tablets seriously because they just seem so expensive, but this seems much more practically priced. It's just gonna be nice and I'm excited.
In the meantime, it's conference weekend and so far at least 2 of the talks have been just for me. It's been wonderful. You can check out the talks at www.lds.org and doing a search for General Conference.