OK, I'm freaking lazy about posting to this crazy blog, I'll admit it. But if there is one thing I am good at, it is procrastination.
Case in point: I turn 35 this year and we are just now getting the paperwork done to try and adopt. I've known for years that I can't really have my own children, and I've always wanted kids, but the opportunities never really presented themselves very well. Finally a couple of years ago I realized that, like contributing to your 401k or going to college, the window of opportunity to maximize on certain life events was rapidly shrinking and I needed to get moving. It's really easy in today's world to think that we have lots of opportunity. Somehow it almost seems like we are entitled to more youth. But I've had enough illness and struggles the last few years to know that getting older already stinks and I really don't want to be going to my child's high school graduation in a wheelchair, so no matter how old I can 'technically' have children, I want to do a better job than that. Which means that I can't wait until everything is perfect, ironically.
So once I prayed and decided with God that this year would be the year, things miraculously started falling into place: my husband lost a weak job (that had nevertheless given him marketable skills) and got a GREAT job with great benefits. I lost a job where I had learned a lot and was able to get a job with a company large enough to offer adoption and legal benefits. Both our incomes increased and my faith in God has been once again pushed to complete Awe.
So we're adopting. I'm actually very surprised that more people don't adopt. I've heard all sorts of horror stories about drug-addicted babies and 10 year waiting lists and things like that, but always from people who have never adopted themselves. From what I have seen, the program we are going with through our church has remarkable success, and everyone I know that has adopted through this program has received beautiful, healthy children in 6 to 18 months. I won't get my hopes up for perfection but I have faith that this will be a good experience, though I'm already terrified that I'm going to be the worst mom EVER.
Still, one thing I know for sure -- though the child we receive will not have our genes, she will be OUR child. I don't think that people are simply gene packets begging to reproduce. I believe that we are all living souls, that exist as more than our bodies and we have a purpose for being here, that God has a plan for each and every one of us. And as part of this belief I think that Heavenly Father puts our families together if we seek His will in the matter. So whatever child I get will be the child God wants me to have, no matter how she comes to me. For this I am grateful. That is, I feel grateful while I am still far distant from stinky diapers, anyway. :)
5 weeks ago